God save the Queue

One of the highlights for the British leg of the tour was Windsor Castle. After catching the tube to Paddington, then changing to the Great Western Rail to Slough, and a final change to Windsor. It took an hour and a half, but eventually we arrived at the castle.

And saw this:

A queue stretchng around the corner and halfway up the street. I endured a 90 minute trip - and McDonald's for lunch - for this?

Facing an hour wait to get into the castle Emma and I decided to skip it. Amend "one of the highlights for the British leg" to "one of the intended highlights of the British leg". Anna and Mario pressed on, but we went off for a coffee, a wander, and then caught a bus tour of the area.

While the bus obviously didn't show us much of the castle, it gave us a great view of the area, including many of the farms owned by the Royal family (we saw the Royal cows, the Royal sheep, and large bins piled high with the royal poo), and Eton, the famous school dating back to the 15th century. It was founded by Henry the Third - or Fifth - or Fourth - I don't know, the one who was murdered on the orders of his brother. 

No, wait. Henry the Sixth. Definitely.

Eton isn't a campus in the American or Australian style, but is a series of buildings sprawling all over a corner of the town. Like most ancient institutions its acquired many peculiar customs, my favourite being "the Wall game", which is only played at Eton. 

As I understand it the Wall game is a derivative of rugby, squash, Greco-Roman wrestling, chess, pub fighting, and the bar exam. You can win without actually scoring a goal, which is handy because the last time a goal was actually scored was in 1909. Seriously.

It made me think of Quidditch from the Harry Potter novels. As did much of Eton, including Tom Brown tailors, wearing academic gowns over uniforms, and the beer drinking.*

Our tour ended the same time as Anna and Mario's who told us about the interior of the castle. "Opulence" would sum it up well. There was a dining table slightly larger than most aircraft carriers, and lots and lots and lots of shiny metals.

(Mario asked one of the staff how they keep it all clean. "We polish it." Fair enough.)

The next stage was meeting Duncan at the pub.

Duncan's an interesting fellow. He's a friend of a friend in Australia, "Pommy Pete", who he served with in the Royal Navy back in the 60s. Duncan became a cook in the navy, went on to cook in the Admirality, and when he retired from the Navy became the head cook at Eton for 25 years. 

Students he cooked for included Princes Harry and William. Even I have heard of them.

Duncan met us at his local pub, the Alma. Fabulously quirky pub, and I had a Doombar Ale. How can you say "no" to an offer for a beer with the name "Doombar Ale"? Sounds like something Darth Vader would drink.

Very good actually, so I had a second. Another step towards the Dark Side of the Force.

Duncan is a great guy, treating us like old friends. We spent a sunny afternoon out the back drinking and eating the best hot chips (French Fries to the North Americans) I've had in Britain, while Duncan told us fabulous stories about his times in the Navy and at Eton.

Such a nice guy. Hard to believe he's a friend of a jerk like Pommy Pete, who didn't even have the decency to mention Duncan in a nine page email Pete wrote after Duncan's last visit to Australia.**

The trip home was easy, and we met Simon for dinner in Hoxton Square, having dinner in Bill's. Dinner was good, but dessert was memorable. Emma had the Eton Mess - basically a Pavlova that hasn't survived a car accident. I preferred the freshly made donuts dunked in melted dark chocolate.

This was our last night in Hoxton/Shoreditch. Tomorrow off to Kensington, to see how the other half live.

* The latter was required during one of the plagues, as was smoking, both believed to provide protection against plague. In Harry Potter the beer was Butter Beer, presumably non-alcoholic. Presumably.

** Pete's not actually a jerk, he's quite a decent bloke. But I promised Duncan I'd abuse him as payback for overlooking Duncan in Pete's novel-length email.